My Fair Lady

I am here to debunk the myth that those who love Gucci studded boots and Chanel charm bracelets do not also love to pet pigs, feed goats and sample the local fare at the fair. The LA County Fair has become something of a tradition for my boyfriend and I...we have gone for the past 3 years and I love it! I am happy to report that this year did not disappoint. There were furry animals, creepy bugs, fried Twinkies, Mexican wrestlers, belly dancers and of course lots of interesting outfits.

Our first stop is always the animal barn. I love animals. All shapes and sizes. If they have fur and four legs--I'm in. Now, less you think I completely forgot the premise of this blog during my photo journaling, allow me to tie all of this back to pondering fashion.

There were cows and sheep: looking lovely in Chanel black and white

And horses flaunting the oh-so-fashionable Heidi Klum bang:

And of course, the snakes were showcasing their of-the-moment skin:

The animals were definitely looking fantastic--unfortunately, I cannot say the same about the people...take a look at some of the unfortunate ensembles I spotted.

Ok--before you denounce me as heartless and cruel, please note that the next two women are not being featured for their weight. They are being featured for the VERY poor way they chose to highlight their figures.

1. Buy clothes that fit! Both of these women's jeans look like they are cutting off their circulation. The bulges created by wearing clothing that is too small simply makes you look bigger

2. Wear fabrics that flow comfortably over your figure--rather than grab onto it for dear life!

When you are getting dressed--think about your best feature and try to play it up with everything you wear. At the same time, keep those troubled spots in mind as well--and play them down as much as possible. Since both of these women tend to be thicker in the mid section, they should aim for tops and dresses with an empire waist that highlights their wonderful cleavage but camouflages their larger tummies.

Lengths of shirts should stay at the hip to streamline the look from top to bottom--always remember, eyes gravitate to a smooth line...not a lumpy one. So if your body tends to carry weight in one section or another, think of ways to balance your look to give the illusion of proportion.

Ok, on to my next model. Just one thing to say on this one.

Fanny Packs: (1980-1990) R.I.P.

I can't quite figure out what was going on here:

I think I see where she was going with this--boots and dress, but this is all wrong.

First off are the clear bra straps. I don't know who invented these but I would like to take all of the clear plastic bra straps in the world and tie the inventor up in them--they're horrible! Do people honestly think that because the bra strap is clear, we can't see it?!? Do they not realize that shiny plastic protruding from strapless and (heaven have mercy) halter tops looks TACKY!?!? Please, do the world and yourself a favor and invest in a strapless bra. One that lifts and separates preferably.

And the boots--I am at a loss for words. All I can say is that if they look like you bought them at an army surplus store (or if you actually did buy them at an army surplus store) leave them for hunting and paintballing.

Next is the pattern, and once again, size of this dress. If you have a ba-dunk-a-dunk (as I do) do NOT draw attention to it by stretching patterned polyester across it. Never a good idea. This women is obviously smaller on top than on bottom--so her main crime (other than the boots and bra straps) is a dress that clings from top to bottom. She is basically screaming to the world, "look at how un-proportioned I am!"

A better choice would have been an A-lined number that accentuates the top half and gives some forgiving coverage to the bottom half. Like this woman:

well done!

The last of the fashion no-no's is this woman:

I get it. Fair..cowboys...cowboy boots and hat. I love cowboy boots--have two pair. Wear them every winter...WITH JEANS. Cowboy boots and mini skirts went out 2 seasons ago and cowboy boots with dressy calf-length skirts was never in.

I will even allow the hat on this one on the grounds that she was getting into the spirit of the fair--but the skirt and boots is a no go. This outfit would have 100% worked if she would have pulled on a great fitting boot-cut jean in a dark wash...OVER the boots, not tucked in them (oh the horror!).

Well, those are my fashion notes from the fair. Sorry, I've been sluggish on the posts--I'll try to be better this week. In closing, I leave you with my two favorite memories from this year's LA County Fair. A belly dancing performance and a Mexican wrestling match.

Living for the weekend,

acceptingwhoiamnot